


Pumpkin Pasties

by gryffindorcutie



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Sirius Black, Fluff and Angst, Inspired by Music, M/M, Remus Lupin Loves Sirius Black, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin Angst, Young Remus Lupin, Young Sirius Black, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:13:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28066026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gryffindorcutie/pseuds/gryffindorcutie
Summary: Sirius won't shut up about his latest conquest, and Remus is about to lose it.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 14
Kudos: 115





	Pumpkin Pasties

**Author's Note:**

> this one shot is inspired by the song "Peach Scone (Live Version)" by Hobo Johnson.

Remus stared with a sort of manic, disingenuous smile down at the shitty little pub table they were sat at. It was pine, with a layer of lacquer that had tons of rings on it. It was wet with the condensation of their pint glasses. 

“Oh really? “ He found himself intoning with a false enthusiasm. “She did that? That’s _crazy_ , mate.”

Sirius was talking about something his latest hookup had said back at his flat, clearly failing to notice the way Remus gripped his pint glass with white knuckles. 

“She said that?” Remus said a minute later. He hadn’t been listening fully, not when Sirius shrugged off his trademark leather jacket, treating him to the view of his biceps flexing as he stretched. His broad chest, and the little bits of ink sticking out from under the neckline and on his arms. And he definitely wasn’t listening when Sirius furrowed his dark brows in concentration as he tried to remember some inane detail about something irrelevant to the story. Because it was adorable as fuck.

Merlin, Remus was hopeless. And he knew it. Just like Sirius was gorgeous, and he knew it.

Remus often found himself in this spot, gazing at the icy blue eyes across the table as Sirius recounted the tale of his latest conquest in excruciating detail. His flavor of the month. _His latest victim, really._

“That’s fucking crazy mate.” Remus nodded, watching as his best friend ran a hand through his long black hair and threw his head back, laughing.

He really had no idea the effect he had on people. Effortlessly charming, this one was. Capturing the hearts of both men and women everywhere. 

“What do I think?” Remus shrugged. “Well, sounds like she was a bit off base, but I’m sure she’ll come around.”

Sirius nodded, stroking his chin pensively. Merlin, Remus wanted to lick that chin. Sirius’s eyes seemed to catch Remus at the wrong moment, and his head tilted in question.

Shit. Remus needed to direct the attention away from himself. He was getting too obvious.

“You know what?” Remus flipped open the box of pastries he’d brought and grabbed one, as Sirius shrugged as if to say _’What?’_. “I fucking love pumpkin pasties.” Remus said, feeling for a moment that this life was probably just a shitty simulation. 

Because after more than ten years of friendship, his supposed best friend still didn’t quite get that Remus was indeed very gay, and very much into him. Sirius was bisexual, apparently, but he still didn’t seem to notice Remus’s lingering stares. Then again, Remus had always been more introverted. And they had always been mates...

Sirius shook his head, grinning. “Yeah they’re alright.”

“It’s like, how the fuck do you make a pastry out of a squash? It blows my mind.” Remus stuffed the rest of it in his mouth, looking away. “Fucking delicious. I love… fucking pumpkin pasties, man. I really do.”

He gulped it down, barely chewing. Merlin, even now he couldn’t finish a sentence, thoughts drifting to what it would be like to finally get his feelings off his chest. That he was in love with his best friend. Had been for years.

Sirius squinted, smiling at Remus’s odd declaration. “Right…”

And so he continued talking about whatever poor sod had fallen for him lately. Not that Remus could blame them. It was worse when it was a man, hearing in far too many details how Sirius had fucked them. This time it was a woman. He would just have to envy her.

And fucking hell, _endure her_ , because of al the fucking pubs in London… here she was.

“What a pleasant surprise.” Remus said a touch _too_ enthusiastically. “So bloody wonderful. Just… fantastic to see you.”

Sirius arched a brow, eyeing Remus suspiciously.

And then he was listening to her gush about Sirius, and how _tired_ he made her last night. Remus murdered a few more pastries, this time reaching for chocolate. All while laughing and echoing the sentiments she was making.

“That’s… wow. So great.” Remus told her, head bobbing up and down.

Then when Sirius was at the bar getting another round, she even went so far as to ask for advice on what she should do about their little argument.

“You know, just keep doing what you’re doing.” Remus said, and Merlin’s sake, he couldn’t stop _nodding._ “Whatever you’re doing, it’s working. Just keep at it, love. You’re doing great.” He gave her a sodding thumb’s up for added effect.

“Really?” She beamed. Poor thing. She wouldn’t last the month.

Since Remus couldn’t have Sirius, he could at the very least enjoy the occasional sabotage of a particularly insufferable fling, right?

But when Sirius came back and slung his arm round the girl as if he hadn’t been moaning about her for an hour, Remus wanted to throw up. His smile was so exaggerated, it was starting to hurt his cheeks.

“If you’ll excuse me.” He said in a cheery voice as the pair whispered to one another. At least they weren’t snogging. 

He shuddered, remembering the one who had practically given Sirius a wank under the table. The door to the men’s room slammed shut behind him, and Remus jumped, realizing he’d been the one to do it.

“Fucking hell.” He muttered.

He spent about two minutes washing his hands and splashing water on his face. He was losing it. How many nights like this was he going to suffer through for Sirius’s sake. He was feeling like fresh hell, agitated from the approaching full moon. That was it. 

He emerged, smiling warmly as ever as Sirius entered the narrow hallway. He blocked Remus’s exit with a hand on the wall.

“So, what do you think?” Sirius asked, grinning mischievously. 

“She’s a peach, man. A good one.” His head was bobbing out of control again.

“Really?” Sirius raised both eyebrows. “Come on, mate. Be honest. You know you can tell me anything, right?” 

“She’s... wonderful, really.” His cheeks hurt. 

Sirius nodded his head to the door Remus had just come out of. “Come with me?”

Remus sighed, shaking his head. “Go yourself like the rest of us do, you fucking girl.” Sirius snorted, stepping around Remus. 

“Suit yourself.” He pulled open the door, shooting a wink over his shoulder. “There’s my mate. Your smile was starting to weird me out.”

Back at the table, Remus downed the rest of his pint, deciding it was time to get out of here. He had to make his exit before Sirius came back, because then he’d be unable to deny him and those eyes. Those eyes would make him stay. He’d be stuck listening and smiling and nodding all night long.

He patted his fingers nervously on the table for a moment before squaring his shoulders in the girl’s direction. He couldn’t even really look her in the eye.

“Yeah, you know Sirius is a good man. He’s not just his looks. And you should know that.” He said, interrupting whatever shit small talk she was attempting. “We all know he’s a handsome little shit, but he also cared about me when my family didn’t and he’s just fucking good, you know? He deserves to find someone worth his time, and someone who can laugh with him, you know? And when you find that, you hold onto it, because that’s what matters in this life.“

The girl’s jaw was slack, at last speechless. 

“So, you know, treat him good, will you? Good luck.” Remus slapped a tip onto the counter, and walked away without another word. 

As he slipped out the door into the crisp night air, he let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding in. His warm breath made a puff of a cloud that only served as a reminder of Sirius walking sex appeal Black and all his cigarette smoking glory. 

He stuck his hands in his jacket pockets, and trudged towards the street. 

“Fuck!” He kicked at a glass bottle on the ground. 

The door shut behind him as he walked to the bus stop. 

“Moony?” Steps were following him up the small hill, but he didn’t slow down. “Moony! Wait up, will you?”

Remus finally turned, for once unable to plaster on a fake grin. This was too much. What, did he want a fucking condom or something? Because if he did, Remus was going to snap.

“What?” He snapped, tone thick with the hot irritation swelling in his chest.

Sirius kept his gaze on his, but he slowed his approach, stopping a few yards away. “Moony…”

“Out with it, would you?” Remus said, sighing. “I have a bus to catch.”

As if mocking him, the street was empty for as far as the eyes could see. 

“Moony…” Sirius closed his eyes for a moment as he ran his hand over his face. “Do you want to tell me what the hell all that was about?”

Remus narrowed his eyes at the man before him. So he’d overheard. 

“Look, I’m just not in the mood to be your third wheel.” He shrugged. 

“Moony, did you mean what you said?” Sirius said, stepping closer. 

“What?” Remus shrugged, pretending to be bored and unaffected. Especially since Sirius was squaring shoulders with him, stalking closer by the second.

“You think i’m a handsome little shit?” He grinned, dimples making Remus both more infuriated and infatuated by the second. 

“Piss off.” Remus rolled his eyes.

“Look, I’ll just say it.” Sirius said. “I know.”

“You know…” Remus replied bored. Then his mind caught up. Wait, what?

“Lily said as much, but I didn’t believe it.” Sirius shrugged. “You really do like me.”

Remus stared back at him for a long moment, feeling too overwhelmed to feel embarrassed or brush it off. Finally, he shrugged. 

“Everyone likes you, Padfoot.” He said, exhaling out another cloud of air. “Can you blame me?”

Fuck he sounded pathetic.

Sirius narrowed his icy blue eyes at him, and stepped closer. “So you just... weren’t going to tell me?”

Remus shrugged as Sirius faced him up close. “Didn’t think I’d bother, seeing as I’m obviously not your type.”

Sirius had the audacity to laugh. “Are you having me on?”

Remus furrowed his brows, watching him with a hard glare. He was laughing at him.

“Fuck, you can be thick sometimes.” Sirius said, shaking his head. “You’re exactly my type. Bookish. Smart. Hilarious. Thoughtful. And then there’s that shy little blush you get sometimes. Fuck I love that blush. I’ve wanted you for ages, Moony. I’m pretty sure everyone knew back at Hogwarts. I gave up hope a long time ago because I never thought you’d possibly... But then tonight you were just so...”

He groaned loudly, throwing his hands in the air. So perfectly dramatic. So Sirius. Remus could only watch with an amused, awestruck look.

And then he was being pressed hard into the brick wall, and Sirius’s lips were on his. And fuck, it was better than he’d ever imagined. Sirius was around the same height, but he felt taller, pressing his hips into Remus’s and deepening the kiss. Remus’s hands went exactly where he’d always imagined they would. Into that glorious head of hair, pulling him closer. 

“Mm.” Sirius hummed against his lips, before pulling away. “I really love… pumpkin pasties.”

Remus’s cheeks flushed. He had really thought Sirius was going to say….

“Amazing how they can make a pastry out of a fuckin squash, isn’t it?” Sirius hummed, kissing down his jaw to a sensitive spot on his neck. “Blows my mind.” 

Sirius nibbled on his neck, before pulling back slightly. 

“Who’d have thought you’d use pastries as a metaphor for your feelings for me, Moony.” His eyes twinkled in the dark of the street.

“Shut it, you… you tosser.” Remus said, smiling despite himself. 

Sirius tilted his head, studying him. A dimpled smirk on his lips as he leaned closer.

“Make me, Moony.”

**Author's Note:**

> ahhh, my first wolfstar fic. this was fun to write. 
> 
> let me know what you think <3


End file.
